Monthly Archives: May 2014

cute couple alert

The Big Sleep

Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall in The Big Sleep. Howard Hawks. 1946.

on the set of

Sturges cake 1943

The 45th birthday cake presented to Preston Sturges on the set of Hail the Conquering Hero (which was still going by its working title, The Little Marine). 1943.

double feature

Arizona Raiders

Bunny Lake Is Missing. Otto Preminger. 1965.

Arizona Raiders. William Witney. 1965.

on this day in lohan history

Davis Hilton

Eight years ago, on this day in Lohan history, all anyone wanted to talk about was the instantly infamous video that had emerged the day before* of a billionaire oil heir unleashing a lengthy, foul-mouthed tirade about Lindsay Lohan and her private parts for the amusement of Paris Hilton as they walked from one Los Angeles nightclub to another. This shocking video came after word of a Hilton/Lohan feud had hit the rumor mill a few days earlier, but were quickly doused by Paris’ PR rep Elliot Mintz.

Davis, Hilton, Mintz

Let’s talk about Elliot Mintz for a minute. This little weirdo seems to have been an ambitious 1960s LA radio DJ-turned publicist who went from associations with John Lennon and Bob Dylan in the 1970s, to representing 2000s-era show-biz flotsam and jetsam like Chris Brown and the aforementioned Paris Hilton. Even though the only source I have on this is poor at best, my gut reaction tells me that Lennon’s association with Mintz has been exaggerated. In the tepid tell-all that Fred Seaman wrote following Lennon’s death, he claimed that Mintz was a friend of Yoko’s whose company Lennon more tolerated than enjoyed. Anyway, Elliot Mintz’s odyssey through 6 decades of American show business has got to be fascinating. This New York Times profile written a few months after the firecrotch incident is far too short to encompass that, but it’s all we have for now.

Getting back to the video in question, a day after Elliot Mintz denied the rumors of a Lohan/Hilton feud, Paris was filmed manically false-cackling while her friend and fellow super-rich adult Brandon Davis made many an eyebrow-raising claim about Lindsay Lohan. His rant began as follows:

Lindsay Lohan has the stinkiest, fucking sweaty, orange vagina anyone has ever seen. I haven’t seen it. She wants me to see it but it shits out freckles, it’s orange and it fucking smells like diarrhea, so fuck off. And who would want to fuck her? Who? Wilmer? Is Wilmer in, like, a mariachi band? And she’s got a firecrotch that all you guys want to suck because you’re fucking desperate.

At this point our cameraman loses Davis for a second as other photogs and cameramen get between him and the Hiltons (Paris’ more camera shy sister Nicky is present as well). One of those cameramen seems to get gently hit by a car in his zeal to capture the scene. As this occurs, Davis briefly turns his attention to the car’s driver and says, “Fuck you, you dirty whore.” And then returns to Lohan:

It’s an embarrassing thing to say but Lindsay Lohan is a firecrotch.

After this pearl, Davis and the Hiltons and their crew all disappear into some nightspot. When they emerge from the club, now with Elliot Mintz in the mix, Davis, drawing heavily from a cigarette, picks up where he left off:

Ok, Lindsay Lohan, would you fuck her? Would you fuck her? Just tell me the truth. Her dad‘s hotter than her, alright. We think she’s a firecrotch. Or we know. I mean, we don’t think that, we know, it’s obvious. Red pubic hair comes from inside her. She’s like an orange freak.

At this point something incredible happens as Davis — who has clearly been drinking and there might have been some coke — begins to sort of bully Elliot Mintz by grabbing at his tie and spouting off some unintelligible bullshit about how the red tie looks like Lindsay’s vagina, to which Mintz responds by simply putting his tie back into place and gently reprimanding with a “Brandon, please.” While nearly every extra in this grand production warrants a second glance and causes one to wonder “what’s that guy’s story?”, Mintz really takes the cake as far as sticking out like a sore thumb goes. How did that guy end up there?

The scene ends with Davis dripping in sweat in the passenger seat of Paris’ car with the paparazzi still egging him on. He obliges them by saying “firecrotch” 3 more times and reveling in the fact that Lohan’s latest film didn’t trouble the box office much.

It was a pretty sour affair that would have gone largely unnoticed had TMZ‘s cameras not been there to capture the forced mirth of these entitled dimwits and bring it to the attention of anyone who was bored at work and sitting in front of a computer.

Lindsay March 18 2006

Lindsay never officially rebutted Davis’ claims so there may still be some question as to whether or not her vagina shits out freckles. We’ll never know. But Linds did make a point to hang out with both Davis’ ex-girlfriend and Paris’ ex-boyfriend in the days that followed. Finally, ten days later, Davis issued an apology to Page Six of the New York Post, “My behavior on May 16 was inexcusable. What started out as a joke got completely carried away and I am horrified at the words that came out of my mouth. I consider Lindsay a friend and I hope she accepts my sincere apology for my reprehensible actions last week.”

*I’m a day late in posting this, as usual.

festival time!

Godard pie thing

Jean-Luc Godard after getting a pie to the face at Cannes. 1985.

dig the critics

Films and Filming. January 1969.

way back

George Kleine

George Kleine, the diplomat and peace-maker in the secret negotiations that ended the BiographEdison war and made the motion picture an industry.

advertising

1968.

on your sleeve

Come On Dutch

Rolling Stones 45s from the Decca/London era. First up, a Dutch Come On. 1963.

Come On French

French Come On reissue. 1973.

I Wanna Be Your Man Dutch

Dutch I Wanna Be Your Man. 1963.

I Wanna Be Your Man Germany

German I Wanna Be Your Man.

Not Fade Away French EP

French Not Fade Away EP. 1964.

Not Fade Away Denmark

Danish Not Fade Away.

Not Fade Away Australia

Australian Not Fade Away.

You Better Move On UK

UK You Better Move On EP. 1964.

Carol EP France

French Carol EP. 1964.

Carol French

French Carol reissue. 1973.

Tell Me US

Tell Me. 1964.

It's All Over Now EP Portugal

Portuguese It’s All Over Now. 1964.

It's All Over Now Dutch

Dutch It’s All Over Now.

It's All Over Now US

U.S. It’s All Over Now.

It's All Over Now French EP

French It’s All Over Now EP.

It's All Over Now French

French It’s All Over Now reissue. 1973.

It's All Over Now UK reissue

UK It’s All Over Now reissue.

Time Is On My Side Holland

Dutch Time Is On My Side. 1964.

Time Is On My Side Germany

German Time Is On My Side.

Time Is On My Side US

U.S. Time Is On My Side.

Time Is On My Side Greek generic

Greek Time Is On My Side in a nice-looking generic Decca sleeve.

Time Is On My Side Dutch

A different Dutch Time Is On My Side.

Time Is On My Side Dutch reissue

Dutch reissue of Time Is On My Side. 1972.

Time Is On My Side EP Sweden

Swedish Time Is On My Side EP.

Time Is On My Side EP France

French Time Is On My Side EP.

Time Is On My Side Japan

Japanese Time Is On My Side.

Little Red Rooster Belgium

Belgian Little Red Rooster. 1964.

Little Red Rooster Australia

Australian Little Red Rooster.

Little Red Rooster Denmark

Danish Little Red Rooster.

Little red Rooster France reissue

French Little Red Rooster reissue. 1973.

Little Red Rooster Holland

Dutch Little Red Rooster.

Heart of Stone France

French Heart of Stone. 1964.

Heart of Stone EP France

French Heart of Stone EP.

Heart of Stone Japan

Japanese Heart of Stone.

Heart of Stone Japan 2

Another Japanese Heart of Stone.

Route 66 French

French Route 66.

Route 66 French reissue

French Route 66 reissue. 1973.

The Last Time US

U.S. The Last Time/Play With Fire. 1965.

The Last Time Germany

German The Last Time.

The Last Time Holland

Dutch The Last Time.

The Last Time Japan

Japanese The Last Time.

The Last Time Sweden

Swedish The Last Time.

The Last Time France reissue

French The Last Time reissue. 1973.

Satisfaction US

U.S. Satisfaction. 1965.

Satisfaction France

French Satisfaction.

Satisfaction 2 France

Another French Satisfaction. Ha! Look at Mick!

Satisfaction Germany

German Satisfaction.

Satisfaction Holland

Dutch Satisfaction.

Satisfaction EP Portugal

Portuguese Satisfaction EP.

Satisfaction Japan

Japanese Satisfaction.

Satisfaction reissue Germany

German Satisfaction reissue. 1972.

Satisfaction reissue Japan

Japanese Satisfaction reissue.

Satisfaction reissue Yugoslavia

Yugoslavian Satisfaction reissue.

Satisfaction mistake Holland

Dutch Satisfaction with misprinted title. Turns out they can get no satisfaction!

Satisfaction reissue 2 Japan

Hideous Japanese Satisfaction reissue.

Get Off Of My Cloud US

U.S. Get Off of My Cloud. 1965.

Get Off Of My Cloud France

French Get Off Of My Cloud.

Get Off Of My Cloud Netherlands

Dutch Get Off Of My Cloud.

Get Off Of My Cloud Sweden

Swedish Get Off Of My Cloud.

Get Off Of My Cloud Japan

Japanese Get Off Of My Cloud.

Get Off Of My Cloud EP Brazil

Brazilian Get Off Of My Cloud.

Get Off Of My Cloud reissue France

French Get Off Of My Cloud reissue. 1973.

As Tears Go By US

U.S. As Tears Go By. 1965.

As Tears Go By Japan

Japanese As Tears Go By.

As Tears Go By France

French As Tears Go By.

As Tears Go By 2 Japan

Another Japanese As Tears Go By.

19th Nervous Breakdown Portugal EP

Portuguese 19th Nervous Breakdown. 1966.

19th Nervous Breakdown Australia

Australian 19th Nervous Breakdown.

19th Nervous Breakdown US

U.S. 19th Nervous Breakdown.

19th Nervous Breakdown French reissue

French 19th Nervous Breakdown reissue. 1973.

19th Nervous Breakdown Denmark

Danish 19th Nervous Breakdown.

19th Nervous Breakdown Germany

German 19th Nervous Breakdown.

Paint It Black US

U.S. Paint It Black. Oh I hate that comma so much.

Paint It Black Holland

Dutch Paint It Black. 1966.

Paint It Black Japan

Japanese Paint It Black.

Paint It Black Germany

German Paint It Black.

Paint It Black Spain

What is up with this Spanish Paint It Black?!

Paint It Black France reissue

French Paint It Black reissue.

Paint It Black Japan 1973

Japanese Paint It Black reissue. 1973.

Paint It Black 1990 reissue

U.S. Paint It Black reissue with a tie-in to the almost completely forgotten CBS drama Tour of Duty, which seems weird. 1990.

Mother's Little Helper US

U.S. Mother’s Little Helper. 1966.

Mother's Little Helper Australia

Australian Mother’s Little Helper.

Mother's Little Helper EP France

French Mother’s Little Helper EP.

Mother's Little Helper Germany

German Mother’s Little Helper.

Mother's Little Helper Japan

Japanese Mother’s Little Helper.

Mother's Little Helper Holland reissue

Dutch Mother’s Little Helper.

Lady Jane reissue 1971 Belgium

Belgian Lady Jane reissue. 1971.

Lady Jane reissue France

French Lady Jane reissue. 1973.

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? US

Gorgeous rear of the U.S. Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?. 1966.

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? UK

U.K. Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? Australia

Australian Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow Japan

Japanese Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? South Africa

South African Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? Germany

German Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? Italy

Italian Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow?

Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow reissue France

French Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Standing in the Shadow? reissue. 1973.

Let's Spend The Night Together US

U.S. Let’s Spend The Night Together. 1967.

Let's Spend The Night Together UK

UK Let’s Spend The Night Together.

Let's Spend the Night Together France reissue

French Let’s Spend The Night Together reissue. 1973.

Ruby Tuesday EP Mexico

Mexican Ruby Tuesday EP

Ruby Tuesday reissue Japan

Japanese Ruby Tuesday reissue with a Coming Home soundtrack tie-in. 1978.

We Love You Italy

Italian We Love You. 1967.

We Love You Spain

Spanish We Love You.

We Love You Germany

German We Love You.

We Love You Sweden

Swedish We Love You. While the rest of the world was embracing the new psychedelic Stones, the Swedes were keepin’-on with an image of them from 1963.

We Love You Belgium

Belgian We Love You. We might have a winner.

We Love You Japan

Japanese We Love You.

We Love You Denmark

Danish We Love You.

We Love You Holland

Dutch We Love You.

We Love You France

French We Love You.

We Love You 2 Japan

Another Japanese We Love You.

In Another Land US

Whoa, the other Stones were really distancing themselves from this one. U.S. In Another Land. Bill Wyman. 1967.

She's A Rainbow US

U.S. She’s a Rainbow. 1967.

She's a Rainbow France reissue

French She’s A Rainbow reissue. 1973.

2000 Light Years from Home Netherlands

Dutch 2000 Light Years from Home. 1967.

2000 Light Years from Home Australia

German 2000 Light Years From Home.

2000 Light Years from Home Holland

Another kind of Dutch 2000 Light Years From Home (the other one was from the Netherlands). Please forgive the bad photo.

2000 Light Years from Home France

French 2000 Light Years From Home.

2000 Light Years from Home Germany

Large Print German 2000 Light Years From Home.

2000 Light Years from Home Belgium

Belgian 2000 Light Years From Home.

2000 Light Years from Home Japan

Japanese 2000 Light Years From Home.

2000 Light Years from Home Italy

Italian 2000 Light Years From Home.

2000 Light Years From Home France reissue

French 2000 Light Years From Home reissue. 1973.

Jumpin' Jack Flash

U.S. Jumpin’ Jack Flash. 1968.

Jumpin Jack Flash 1973 Japan reissue

Japanese Jumpin’ Jack Flash reissue. 1973.

Jumpin' Jack Flash 78 Japan reissue

Another Japanese Coming Home tie-in Jumpin’ Jack Flash reissue. 1978.

Jumpin' Jack Flash 83 Japan reissue

Japanese Jumpin’ Jack Flash reissue. 1983.

Jumpin' Jack Flash 86 Japan reissue

Japanese Jumpin’ Jack Flash reissue with a different tie-in movie. 1986.

Street Fighting Man Denmark

Danish Street Fighting Man. 1968.

Street Fighting Man Germany

German Street Fighting Man.

Street Fighting Man Germany

Another German Street Fighting Man.

Street Fighting Man Italy

Italian Street Fighting Man.

Sympathy For The Devil Netherlands

Dutch Sympathy For The Devil. 1969.

Sympathy For The Devil Japan

Japanese Sympathy For The Devil.

Sympathy For The Devil France reissue

French Sympathy For The Devil reissue. 1973.

Sympathy For The Devil 73 Japan reissue

Japanese Sympathy For The Devil.

Honky Tonk Women US

U.S. Honky Tonk Women. 1969.

Honky Tonk Women Belgium

Belgian Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women Dutch

Dutch Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women Yugoslavia

Yugoslavian Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women Germany

German Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women 2 Japan

Japanese Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women 2 Netherlands

Another Dutch Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women Netherlands

Another Dutch Honky Tonk Women.

Honky Tonk Women 73 reissue Japan

Japanese Honky Tonk Women reissue. 1973.

Honky Tonk Women French

French Honky Tonk Women.

wilder directs

Irma la Douce

Billy Wilder directs Shirley MacLaine while trying not to wake Jack Lemmon in Irma la Douce. 1963.