Category Archives: lohan history

on this day in lohan history

Lohan mug

Ideally, I would like to do one of these Lohan posts more often than I do but that is easier said than done for two reasons: 1. There are, believe it or not, occasional long stretches where nothing or next to nothing has occurred on this day in Lohan History; and 2. Sometimes, when it comes to Lohan History, when it rains, it pours and when it comes to times like that, you might as well just read “back issues” of dlisted (or your gossip blog of choice) your damn self.

Lindsay coke

For some time now, it’s been a when-it-rains-it-pours situation because roughly two years ago this month was when Linds got serious about going off the rails. 2007 was the year in which Lohan’s road to ruin reached its fever pitch. In January, after what seemed like years of drink and drug rumors, she checked herself into the first of what would become many (well, more than most people have) stays in rehabilitation centers. In May 2007, Lindsay ran her car off the road. When police arrived, they found that she had a little bit of cocaine in her car. I’m referring to the incident pictured below, of course. This led to Linds’ second stay in a rehab facility where she remained for forty-five days. If I recall correctly, she spent most of these days on the facility’s outdoor smoking area so the paparazzi could manage to get shots of her.

Lohan passed out

Later, she told reporters that this rehab stay was the best decision she had ever made: “It changed my life. I didn’t have a good grip on it and I needed to get my shit together. I was going out too much.” She also revealed that she had spent part of her stay reading Machiavelli’s “The Prince.” She said, “I was going out with someone and they said I should read Machiavelli and I was like, ‘Nah’, and then I was, ‘Ok, I’ll read it’, and now it is always with me.” Lindsay’s telling of the events leading up to her decision to read “The Prince” had me on the edge of my seat and I’m sure sales of the book skyrocketed after this revelation.

All of this set the stage for what is arguably the pinnacle of Lindsay’s days as a tabloid fixture (I’m not saying that she still isn’t one, but her antics have gotten positively boring in recent years). On July 13, 2007, Linds completed her rehab stay issuing this statement:

“On Friday, Lindsay Lohan successfully completed her 45 days of residential and extended care treatment at Promises. She has transitioned to an intensive outpatient program, which includes attendance at daily AA meetings, outpatient therapy and daily testing. On her own, she has also made the decision in support of her sobriety to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet. In part she is wearing the bracelet so there are no questions about her sobriety if she chooses to go dancing or dining in a place where alcohol is served.”

So that should have been that but less than two days later, Linds was partying it up at Pure in Las Vegas with the lovely lady pictured below.

Lohan and Dori Cooperman

When news of this hit, it cost her her role in something called Poor Things, she was replaced by Brittany Murphy and the film, without Lindsay’s star power to get it an ABC Family opening, is still sitting on the shelf. While all of this was developing, a new scandal was a-brewing involving a hacked computer and nude photos. These photos never materialized but when questioned about them Lindsay’s spokesperson remarked that “Anything is possible.” At this point, it seems as though even her people had just thrown up their arms and walked away.

By the seventeenth of July, with photos of Lindsay partying emerging day after day, the rumor mill began grumbling what everyone had already assumed: that that alcohol monitoring braclet was a fake. This story caused Lindsay’s rep, hopefully the same one who said “Anything is possible,” to muster this defense, “It’s not court-ordered, it’s a pain in the ass, it’s heavy and it’s not fashionable — and we all know Lindsay is extremely fashionable. She doesn’t have to drink when she goes to clubs — she can hang out with friends, and she loves to dance.”

alcohol monitoring bikini

Next, the gossip industry was claiming that she had swapped booze for ecstasy. Remember ecstasy? I assumed that that stuff didn’t exist anymore. Then, she was supposedly mixing nitrous oxide with cough medicine to get high.

Speculation as to what exactly Lindsay was getting fucked up on came to an end on the morning of July 24, 2007, when she was arrested for DUI, driving with a suspended license and cocaine possession. Back to her usual tricks, then. The events leading up to the arrest were nothing short of pitiful. It seems as though earlier in the day, Linds had gotten into an argument with her assistant at a party. Linds then jumped into a car with the three random dudes pictured below and chased the assistant down the Pacific Coast Highway at speeds reaching one hundred miles per hour! Be careful, Lindsay! The assistant somehow escaped but Lindsay wasn’t through chasing folks so she headed down to the assistant’s mother’s house. This woman was for some reason pulling into her driveway at whatever ungodly hour Linds arrived and upon seeing this speeding car with its crazed driver, pulled out of the driveway and got into a high speed chase ending in the parking lot of a police station. When police came to investigate the commotion, Linds told them that “the black kid” was driving and then nearly fell over during a sobriety test. The evening was deftly summed up by the “black kid” in the photo below, “It was pretty much the worst night of my entire summer.”

Lohan's three random dudes

I’m wrapping this up because I’m getting as tired writing it as you are reading it (provided you even began reading). Lindsay was released on bail by morning and issued this carefully worded statement to Access Hollywood: “I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.” With that, Lohan was whisked off to her third stay in rehab where she remained until early October 2007 (she referred to her time in rehab as a “a sobering experience”). Within a month a deal was worked out that saw Linds pleading no contest to two DUI charges (the other charges were thrown out). She was sentenced to four days in jail (she eventually served eighty-four minutes), community service and probation.

Lohan mug 2

on this day in lohan history

lohan accepts

The title of this post should actually read “yesterday in lohan history”. I missed this then but it’s a pretty good one and I haven’t done one of these Lohan posts in a while. So three years ago yesterday, then, photos emerged from Lindsay’s appearance on the previous night’s Nickelodeon 2006 Kids’ Choice Awards where she accepted perhaps the highest honor bestowed on her during her entire career. Linds beat out the likes of Drew Barrymore (in Fever Pitch), Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four) and Dakota Fanning (in something called Dreamer) to win the award for Favorite Movie Actress! She won for her performance in Herbie Fully Loaded, the first in a what would eventually become a pile-up of box office disappointments. The production of this film also led to the souring of the relationship between Linds and Disney.

Check this clip of Linds’s acceptance. It involves a screaming Bruce Willis, Avril Lavigne, two static nerds (probably contest winners) and a contortionist. What one can’t notice from watching the video is that it took place during that time when it was a trend for desperate starlets to not wear underwear! The Kids’ Choice Awards hardly seems like an appropriate forum for that particular brand of attention-seeking but obviously, you can’t tell that to Lindsay! Kids rule!
lohan at kid's choice awards 2006

on this day in lohan history

Lohan History January 7

On this day in 2007 it was reported that Lindsay Lohan had been admitted to a hospital again nearly a year to the day since her last post-New Year’s hospitalization! She must really overdo it while ringing in the New Year!

It seems as though on Jan 6, 2007, Lindsay went to her doctor complaining of stomach pains. The doctor performed several tests and discovered that the problem was appendicitis. The following day, exactly two years ago today, Lindsay was asked to go to some hospital where her appendix was removed. It was reported that she was again “resting comfortably” while recuperating.

Just a few days prior to her hospitalization Linds was photographed hanging out poolside with her ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama. I wonder what that guy has been up to.

Just a few days later (January 11, 2007), this photo of Lindsay jogging in a bikini while smoking a cigarette was taken. Thank goodness for her speedy recovery!

linds post appendix

on this day in lohan history

linds!

No long-time Lohan watcher will ever forget the events of January 3, 2006 and the days that followed. Lindsay was two weeks away from beginning wasting her time filming that Chapter 27 thing where Jared Leto assassinated John Lennon (I think that that finally got an all but direct to DVD release sometime last year…another Lohan film that I have yet to see). The last we had heard from Lindsay was that she had spent New Year’s Eve pulling hosting duties at some Miami hot spot called Prive. So business as usual, then.

On Tuesday, January 3rd, the gossip blogs began reporting that Lindsay had been hospitalized after suffering an asthma attack so severe that it caused a blood vessel in her neck to break! By the time the news of the asthma attack broke Linds was “resting comfortably” in some hospital in Miami.

Things got worse from there when People magazine leaked some explosive details from a Vanity Fair article on Linds which was to be published the following day. In this article Lindsay admitted to having problems with bulimia and drugs!

“I was sick,” the then 19-year-old actress admitted to Vanity Fair. “I had people sit me down and say, ‘You’re going to die if you don’t take care of yourself.'” And who were these people who sat her down and gave her the tough love she needed? Lorne Michaels and the cast of Saturday Night Live of course!

lorne michaels 1976

This intervention went down after Lindsay’s May 21, 2005 appearance on the lame NBC comedy show. The intervention was a tearful affair: “I just started bawling. I knew I had a problem, and I couldn’t admit it,” Lohan said. “I saw that SNL after I did it. My arms were disgusting. I had no arms.” Her siblings were also terrified of seeing Lindsay with no arms: “My sister, she was scared. My brother called me, crying.”

Here’s a scene of Lindsay with no arms on Saturday Night Live.

These were exciting times. In the Vanity Fair article Lindsay finally admitted that she had used drugs “a little,” but that was all in the past. “I’ve gotten that out of my system. … I don’t want people to think that I’ve done … you know what I mean? It’s kind of a sore subject.” Lindsay’s handlers asked VF to remove the drugs bit from the article but they refused. Elsewhere in the article, Lindsay reports on how much she has changed since those wild days and nights before the intervention. “For my birthday, I flew to L.A. for the weekend and just sat in a little restaurant with my friends and just, like, had dinner, went back to my friend’s house and didn’t do anything. That’s how much I’ve changed. When I was 18, I had a party at Avalon with an ‘I’m a Slave 4 You’ theme.”

linds in the feb 2006 issue of VF

Now, as if the word of the hospitalization and the earth-shattering Vanity Fair article weren’t enough Lohan news for one day, there was more. Later on that same day details emerged of a late-night shopping trip made by a friend of Lindsay’s and Lindsay’s limo driver where they went to some spot to pick her up a bunch of junk that she needed. Around 1:30 AM, the friend and driver returned to Lindsay’s room with overnight bags, a pregnancy test (!), Cocoa Puffs, cards, Coca Cola and mouthwash.

Lindsay would remain in the hospital until the fifth of January. By the time of her release, her PR folks had added extreme humidity to the asthma attack as the cause of her hospitalization and claimed that the pregnancy test was for Lindsay’s friend and not Lindsay herself. Either way, none of this had anything to do with drugs. It was said that upon her release she was headed straight to New York City to begin preparing for the filming of Chapter 27.

Lohan!

on this day in lohan history

On this day in Lohan history nothing much was happening but Linds was in the news regardless. The year was 2006 and Lindsay was hard at work training for her next box office success. In I Know Who Killed Me (which I really did mean to see but, like so many of her other films, I never got around to), Lindsay was to play a strip-tease type person (I don’t know) and her training consisted of spending five weeks working with actual strippers learning how to do whatever it is that they do—I’m assuming pole dancing and whatnot.

Thankfully another personal email to friends leaked to the gossip media and from it we are able to gain some interesting insight into Lindsay’s training routine and her attitude toward the dancers who she was working with. “They’re all whorez, they’re all whorez . . . xcept for some obviously! So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cuntz now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.”

According to a report in the New York Post, a few weeks later Lindsay found herself in New York City strip club Scores and put what she learned to good use in front of four hundred paying customers. Lindsay also gave a speech to an assembly of strippers in a bathroom where she apologized for her “whorez” missive. She then spent three hours working the pole and supposedly remained sober the whole while— this was around the time when she would regularly be photographed sporting Alcoholics Anonymous badges. Obviously there are no pictures available of the Scores incident, but there are some pics of the UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION that she spoke of.

on this day in lohan history

December 8, 2006 was indeed a busy day for Lindsey. It was reported by the National Enquirer that Linds engages in the practice of cutting! Let’s hope this is/was not true!

This photo was seemingly their only bit of evidence along with testimony by an unnamed source who claimed that Linds, despondent over the state of her failing career, was seen cutting herself with a butter knife in a hotel room! In the same article, the NE quoted another unnamed source as saying that he “watched Lindsay Lohan snort cocaine and pop OxyContin – then wash it all down with vodka.” Who hasn’t been there? There’s more: “I’ve spent many booze and drug-fuelled nights with Lindsay, and I’m only coming forward now because I want to save her life…At the rate she’s going, Lindsay is headed for an early grave…I’ve known Lindsay for the past two years, and she absolutely loves to get wasted. She makes Courtney Love look like a girl scout.” Courtney Love? Piling it on a little thick, aren’t we?

Meanwhile, and in the most bizarre bit of Lohan then-news, it was revealed that Lindsay claimed to have been contacted by Vice President Al Gore who was interested in helping her clean up her tarnished image. In a leaked email written by Linds, she claimed: “Al Gore will help me. He came up to me and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me.” It gets better: “Hilary (sic) Clinton, Bill Clinton…would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK.” This email only got more odd from there. She claimed she was interested in getting politicians to assist her in her plan to “release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press,” as a means of assisting her in spreading her views on “how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people. Because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see.”

Of course, none of this was true. A spokesman for the Oscar winner smothered these flames immediately: “I can confirm for you that Mr. Gore has only met Ms. Lohan once, very briefly, at the GQ Men of the Year dinner last week. There were hundreds of other guests.”

Here she is photographed exactly two years ago today.